Barbie
by McGoogleRandom
Summary: “Its just a nightmare.” “Its never just a nightmare.” A look at Teddys life in Iraq. Not accurate to curent plots. Rated M for sexual refrencing. Also available on Wattpad


It was late. To late to be up. The ceiling fan swung in pointless circles, avoiding its job of circulating the air and keeping us cool. Restless and sweaty, I looked to my left, checking the time on the old alarm clock. Five to one. Great. I shifted again, looking back up at the fan. I closed my eyes but opened them abruptly when the cot next of me creaked as the soldier moved in his sleep. A soldier. That's what I was. A fighter, a survivor. I laughed at the thought. I never was a fighter.

I had grown up a single child with a good heart. The older I got, I had learned to run away from my problems. This was the perfect example. I rubbed my face then dropped my arms to my side. I was alone here. No one knew me. No one bothered to know me. This was my third tour, and while most of these guys looked familiar, some were brand new. My third tour. Some people had asked if I had family waiting for me to return. I would always reply with a simple no and they would leave. No ones waiting for me. No one will know if I'll ever leave this place.

I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of my cot. The old springs moaned in protest. I glanced at the clock before reaching down and tying my boots. One o'three.

I walked outside and immediately regretted not bringing a sweater with me. The desert blazed with the heat straight from hell in the the day but at night it cooled significantly. I walked around the small building, stifling small giggles as some snores were heard through the thin walls. I walked past some other buildings where men propped themselves against the wall, thick smoke from cigarettes hovering over them. I nodded and continued on my way.

I stopped in front of my destination. The OR tent. The only place that felt like home. I walked in slowly, making sure there were no surgeries being performed. Thankfully I was alone. I walked around the room, taking it in. It was hard to appreciate it while you struggled to save someone's life. I dragged my fingers over the scrub sinks and fiddled with the cords of the heart monitor.

"It's quite fascinating isn't it." A voice said startling me. I whipped around and came face to face with a tall man, probably around six feet tall. He had red hair and the kind of blue eyes that just never seemed to lose their sparkle. I had seen him around, and, I believe, he was a major.

"It is." I responded with a smile. "Teddy Altman." I said holding out my hand.

"Owen Hunt." He responded taking my hand. Now I remember who he was. He was the major who's sister was kidnapped about a year ago. Last I heard he had went back to America. I guess he wanted to come back.

"I know your probably wondering what to say to the guy who lost his sister right?"

"No! No not at all." Shit. "I was wondering how you knew I was here."

"Well I was hoping that this OR was empty but I can see it's not." He joked, laughing slightly. There something about that smile that was comforting. The kind that could make a woman weak in the knees. I laughed a bit to distract myself from my thoughts.

"Well it could be worse."

"It could be worse." He repeated. There was something about this Owen Hunt that was mysterious, and for some reason, my brain registered it as really damn hot. I looked at the floor, avoiding his gaze. What was wrong with me?

"Well, um, let me walk you back to your building." He offered, breaking the awkward tension in the air. I looked up and smiled.

"That would be lovely." I said. He smiled and took my arm, leading us out of the tent. Once outside, a breeze picked up making me shiver. Without warning or question, Owen removed his sweater and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"No I'm okay, really." I said, politely trying to refuse the offer.

"Nonsense. Just wear it to your building and then I will take it back." He said, his blue eyes looking into mine with such intensity that I felt obligated to accept the gesture.

"Okay." I said, looking down before my cheeks begin to blush. I heard him chuckle and I moved closer to him, trying to use my body heat to keep him warm. He wrapped an arm over my shoulders, like it was the most normal thing he can do. I loved it.

We continued on our way until we eventually arrived at my building.

"So I guess this is were we part." I said turning to face him.

"I guess so." He responded. Again his eyes bore into mine. I looked for a way to look away, but for what seemed like an eternity, I couldn't bring myself too. Then I remembered the sweater on my shoulders.

"Um, you might want this. You know, for your way back." I said, sliding the sweater off my shoulders and holding it in my hands. I stared at it for a moment. This was the nicest thing anybody has done for me out here. Most of the men here were rude or quiet and I was the only women for miles. This was the first time anybody really cared for me in a long time. My senses snapped back and I held the sweater out for him to grab with a smile.

"Keep it. You'll need it." He said. I pulled the sweater to my chest and held it tight.

"Thank you." I smiled. He nodded and left. I watched him leave, the smile on my face slowly getting bigger. When he was out view, I lifted the sweater in my hands up to my face. My god, it smelled so much like him. I giggled against the soft fabric before turning around and walking into my building a new spring added to my step.

I sat down on my cot, the springs creaking under my weight and bent down to untie my shoes. I snuggled under the blankets and kept Owens sweater tight to my chest. I checked the clock one last time before dozing off, the smell of Owens cologne clouding my mind.

Over the next few weeks Owen and I got closer, trading jokes and stories, scrubbing in on surgeries together. Other men became jealous of our relationship causing Owen to become a bit possessive, but I didn't mind. I missed this feeling.

Owen had convinced another soldier to trade sleeping spots so we could be closer. Some nights, the nightmares woke me up and Owen was there, at my side, infusing me with his calm and when he couldn't sleep, it was me who was at his side. When he was out on patrol, I slept with the sweater he gave me on the first night we met, just so I could have him with me at all times.

He even introduced me to his friend and would be brother in law Nathan Riggs. Naturally, we all got along, playing two on one soccer. Me and Owen always won and every time he would pick me up and spin me round, telling me I was his good luck charm.

And then there were the nights were we would sit outside, a case of beer to share, and a sky full of stars to talk underneath. Those are my favourites.

"What would you do, you know, if we ever left this hell hole?" I asked taking a swig of warm beer.

"I don't know. Probably settle down. Get a nice house and a dog. Who knows, maybe I'll get married." He said, eyes fixed on the stars. "What about you?"

I thought about it for a minute. I had always been so busy trying to forget my past that I had never put much thought into the future.

"I'm not sure. I would like a family eventually. Just me, a loving husband, and one or two children." I said looking into the stars. I heard Owen hum contently.

We stayed like that, each of us drinking our beers in silence. Eventually we finished one case and Owen stumbled off to get another one, which was half gone in about an hour. The more we drank the more we talked. The more we talked the more I learned about him. Then somewhere in my drunken mind I came up with a crazy idea.

"Let's play truth or dare!" I exclaimed out of nowhere.

"Isn't that for teenagers?" Owen asked.

"So what? Let's play, please!" I begged. Owen thought about it, taking a long drink of beer before finally agreeing.

"Fine. Teddy, truth or dare?" He asked sitting up.

"Dare." I said downing the rest of my beer. Owen looked around, trying to find something suiting for me to do.

"I dare you to chug a beer as fast as you can." He said.

"Really! That's so easy." I said, clumsily reaching for another bottle. I popped the top and chugged it as fast as my drunk body could. "There. My turn." I said mischievously.

"Should I be concerned?" Owen joked.

"Owen truth or dare?" I said avoiding his question.

"Dare."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I knew what I wanted him to do.

"Positive."

I crawled over to him and kissed him passionately.

"I dare you to kiss me back." I said pulling away. He wasted no time, claiming my lips with his. I smiled and let my hands explore his chest. Owen tangled his fingers in my hair and without warning, pulled my head back, exposing my neck which he greedily kissed. Around my collarbone, up under my jaw line, and as close to my breasts as he could with my shirt still on. At first I gasped with surprise at the action but then moaned with pure pleasure. But soon kissing wasn't enough. The fire clouding my mind and the painful desire in my core demanded more. I pushed Owen onto his back and straddled him, grinding my hips on his, moaning at the feeling of his member getting hard. His hands traced my hips, and gripped my ass making me moan more. God I wanted him so bad. I could feel myself drip and his hard cock pressing against me wasn't helping. I kept my lips against his, letting our tongues dance in unison. I felt Owen lift my shirt and my senses came in. I smacked his chest and sat up.

"What?" Owen asked.

"Nothing, it's just that we can't do this here. We're in the open." I explained looking around for a suitable place for us to continue. "There. The on call room." I said, stumbling to my feet. I helped Owen up and dragged him along. Once safely inside, i kissed him again and reached down for the hem of his shirt. Our battle of the tongues called truce as I pulled his shirt over his head. Once it was safely on the other side of the room, we re-connected, his hands roaming my torso, taking special interest in my boobs, mine tackling the belt buckle that held up the barrier between us. With my belt finally undone, I reached out for Owen's, determined to get what I wanted. Oddly, Owen had other plans, kissing that one spot on my neck causing me to completely lose it. I moaned loudly, tossing my head as far back as it would go with the door behind me. I gripped Owens waist for support, almost pulling him onto me. He continued to suck at it for a bit then moved on, cupping my thighs and lifting me off my feet. Stunned and aroused, I gasped and leaned my head against him, letting myself be spun around and laid on the bed on the other side of the room.

Once I was on the bed, I sat up and ripped my shirt over my head, the heat unbearable. I couldn't decipher it was from the desert or my internal desire, but to be honest it didn't matter. Owen grinned widely and i leaned back, feeling the not so soft mattress against my bare back. I spread my legs and let Owen pull off my pants. Again he throws them away and leans down to kiss me again. I moan against his lips, reveling in the feeling of his skin on mine. His chest presses against my tender breasts, his hands fidgeting with my bra clasp, his lips on my neck. His hips grind softly into mine, his bulge pressing against my wet panties. Black lace, just for him. I can't move, not that I want to, so I let myself feel. I knot my fingers in his hair, moaning. He kisses his way down, slowly making contact with my breasts, my stomach, all the way down to my inner thigh. He sits up and undoes his pants, quickly taking them off. His boxers are stretched thin, his member at attention. I lick my lips, and go to remove my panties. I need him. Now. I wrap my thumbs around the waist band when Owen takes my hand, forcing me to stop.

"Please. I need you." I moan breathily.

"Let me." Owen says, sensing my urgency. He rolls them down my legs and drops them. He kisses his way back up my legs, taking his time to evade my center. I squirm, the desire building up inside me, begging to be released. I want him to move faster and slower at the same time, god What has this man done to me?

I was a level headed girl. Am, i am a level headed girl. I didn't sleep with random men in on call rooms! I didn't get shit faced drunk in the desert. I made rational choices, I was careful! But with him, oh god when I am with him, all of those worries seem to fade. He gives me strength, and passion, and comfort where I least expect it. It was evident from the first day, night, we met. The night he gave me the sweater that was now carelessly piled on the floor. He wasn't a random man. He was Owen. He is my Owen.

I woke up naked and sore on the bed in the on call room. I rolled over to check the time, but thought better of it when my head pounded at the slight movement. I groaned and opened my eyes, instantly wishing I hadn't. Light leaked through the thin canvas of the tent making my headache worse than it already was. I groaned again and rolled over despite the pain and came face to face with Owen Hunt. Memories of last night came flooding back, the booze, the kiss, his naked chest on my boobs. They all came back but I didn't know what to think of them. We were drunk, I was horny and I kinda jumped him. I thought on that statement. Ya, I definitely jumped him. But it wasn't like it was a random stranger, it was Owen. And that thought alone made me realize just how I should feel. I smiled and nuzzled my head into his chest, listening to his heart beating. A proper rhythm, a perfect lullaby. Owen subconsciously pulled me closer to him and my smile grew wider.

We stayed like that until my head ache wasn't the only side affect of last nights adventure. I untangled myself and ran to the other side of the room, pulling my hair back as the bile rose in my throat. I peeled over and let my stomach empty itself, trying my hardest not to wake Owen. I held my hand over my stomach, suddenly very much aware that I was in fact stark naked and exposed, puking in an on call room. I stood there for a moment, making sure I was done before walking back to the bed. My head still spinning, I shoved Owens shoulder in an attempt to wake him up. He groaned and rolled over. Great. I tried one last time, and getting the same response, I went to gather my clothes.

I found my panties and bra first, each of them had a thin layer of dirt on them but it was way better than having everything hanging out. I searched the room some more, eventually finding my pants and shoes near the door and my shirt under the bed. I dressed quickly and threw my hair in a bun even faster. I nearly jumped as Owen snored, catching me off guard. I took a few deep breaths and letting my head calm down. I didn't realize how jumpy I was. I check the time and decided it was time to get Owen up. I pulled the sheets down to his chest and curled up next to him. I kissed his lips tentatively and then his cheek. When I got no response I tapped his cheek a few times. Nothing. He really slept like a rock. Time for extreme measures. I stood up and bent down so lips were practically touching his ear. Without warning I yelled in his ear. "INCOMING!!" I yelled and stepped back. Owen jumped up so fast he fell out of the bed, taking the blanket with him creating a massive heap on the floor. I was laughing so hard, my hands were on my knees and I was struggling to get air. Owen stood up slowly, wrapping the blanket around him. It was quite a sight. His hair was wild mess and he was completely naked except for the blanket he held over his front. Not to mention the priceless expression on his face.

"Not funny." He said.

"It totally is." I responded regaining some of my composure. I walked over and cupped his face in my hands, a smile still stretched on my face. "Good morning." I whispered before placing a light kiss on his lips. I pulled away and ran my fingers through his messy ginger hair.

"Good morning Teddy." He responded pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I pecked him lips again and reached down and grabbed his shirt. I handed it to him and started out the door.

"Hurry up! We are already late!" I yelled over my shoulder as I walked out the door. I gently closed the door and was greeted by the blazing desert sun. And a worried Nathan Riggs.

"Riggs! What's up?" I asked.

"I can't find Owen and he's always on time." He said. I suddenly had a very devious little plan.

"Check the on call room." I said and walked away. I turned around in time to see him run in and out again pure horror in his eyes. I resisted the urge to fall on the ground laughing and decided to take a walk.

On my walk I received several types of glares, some of longing, others of what looked like jealousy and some of the men were just plain pissed off. I confronted Riggs about it later and he confined in me that Owen and I had kept up half the troop. I bit the nail on my thumb to stop myself from laughing. Owen and Riggs stared at each other then burst out laughing in which I later joined. I wrapped my arms around Owens waist and pulled him in for a kiss. I could have been wrong but I think Riggs patted Owens shoulder.

I spent the rest of my day with Owen and Riggs. We played games, went on a quick patrol and did some minor surgeries. We laughed over dinner and a few drinks until lights out. Riggs left for his building and me and Owen went to ours. We curled up next to each other, my back to him, his arm resting on my waist.

That's how things went around here. Most of my days were the same, pass times here, surgeries there. The one constant was Owen. He was always around to keep me company or be a shoulder to lean on. Until he wasn't. We had just had a wonderful, mind blowing night and I had slept in. When I woke up, his side of the bed was cold, and his sweater was folded neatly on his pillow. I dressed and went to find Riggs but I couldn't find him either. I asked the general and he told me that they grabbed the early convoy to the airport. I walked away, back to my bed and cried. I didn't know why I was crying. Maybe it was the fact that I was abandoned again, alone in a deserted hell. Ya, that's it. I grabbed his sweater and held it over my face, drinking in the scent of his cheap ass cologne. It only made me cry harder.

He didn't leave completely unannounced. Later that week, I received a letter explaining his sudden departure. Apparently his dad was really sick and needed extensive surgeries. Owen had left to support his family and Riggs went to support him. Although the letter brought me some peace, I was still angry over the fact he didn't tell me before he left.

Owen sent letters every week, but as I knew they would, they slowly stoped coming in. Every Monday I would go check and every time I was disappointed. Not only that, but with each passing week, I noticed more changes in my body. One week it was back pain, another my boobs were sore and swollen, not to mention how tired I felt and the icing on top, the lack of blood that month. I was almost positive I was pregnant. I didn't want to take a test because it could easily be discovered and then I would have to focus on hiding a not even formed bump. So, i pushed the thought to the very back of my mind. Until I couldn't even do that anymore.

I was out on patrol one day when it happened. It was late and no one was around. I was leaning against the wall of a building, I can't quite remember which, drifting off when I felt this intense pain in my lower abdomen. I winced, not wanting to make a sound. A second one hit, stronger and longer than the first one. I doubled over in pain, tears in my eyes, my arms hugging myself. I felt something warm and sticky drip down my legs and realized my suspicions were correct. I was having a miscarriage. I slid down the wall and let myself bleed, letting the pain course through my body. I cried. I cried harder than I ever had. I cried from the pain. I cried for Owen. I cried for my child who died before it was born. I couldn't breath. I felt someone's arms around me, but it wasn't Owen. I wouldn't ever be Owen.

I woke up on a hard patient bed, an IV cord sticking out of my arm. My head hurt and my eyes felt puffy. But mostly, I felt empty. I had lost Owen. Then I lost his child. I placed my hand on my stomach, imagining what it would be like to feel my baby's first movements. I felt tears trickle down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away. I stayed like that a few minutes, listening to the heart monitor, pointlessly stroking my stomach. Eventually someone came and checked on me.

"Doctor Altman. Feeling better?" The man asked. I nodded, scared that if I talk I would cry again. My head hurt enough as it is. "That's good. My name is Henry, by the way. In case you need anything." He added. He was cute. Short cut brown hair, big green eyes. He looked familiar, but then again, most of the people here do. The ma-, Henry left and I sighed. I tried to think about what was so familiar about him. He must have done something special. I pondered it for a while, slowly letting myself drift off to sleep.

My dreams were filled with gunshots, earthquakes, and ear piercing shrieks, so naturally I didn't sleep much. I woke up gasping for air, unable to calm myself. Henry was there instantly, siting beside me, rubbing circles on my back. As my breathing regulated, the tears started leaking out my eyes. I let them fall, leaning into Henry's shoulder. I remembered now, the thing that makes him so vivid in my memory. He was the man who gave up his bed for Owen. I don't know why that image had stuck in my head. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. It looked almost like longing. Jealousy maybe? Whatever it was he tried to hide it. I looked up at him, into his mint green eyes, and saw nothing but concern.

"You ok now?"

"A bit."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. It was just a nightmare."

"Trust me, it's never just a nightmare." He said. I sighed. I couldn't say nothing. And who knows, maybe it would help.

"I was in the second tower. There was an explosion, the floor gave out beneath me. I watched myself fall, except it wasn't me. It was her." It was Allison, I thought. "I screamed, but there was no noise. I tried to breath but nothing happened. It was like all the oxygen had been drained. It was dark. Pitch black." I said trailing off into tears. Henry pulled me closer, stroking my hair and let me cry out my pain.

I collected myself and sat up. I wiped my tears and fixed Henry's shirt a bit. "I am sorry for that." I laughed a bit.

"It's okay. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He said, crossing his heart. I smiled. He was a good man. There was just one last thing I needed from him.

"I lost my baby?" I asked in a whisper. He nodded solemnly.

"You lost your baby." He stated. I nodded and leaned into his chest. A few more tears trickled down my cheeks and Henry continued to comfort me. I felt like such a whimp, crying like I was, on a random mans chest. Then again, it felt real good to have a chest to lie on, a friend to support me.

I was ready for duty a week after the incident. I returned to my bunk, and Henry had decided the men in his cabin were, quote, "too annoying" and moved back to his original bunk. I didn't question it. I was happy he was sleeping beside me again. We were there for each other, the same way me and Owen were.

Owen. I hadn't thought much of him lately. Maybe it was because i didn't want too. I was having so much fun with Henry. In a way, I felt closer to Henry. He was kinder with me than Owen was, more understanding. He even gave me a nick name! He likes to call me Desert Storm Barbie but I shortened it to Barbie. As cheesy as it is, I love it. We were the "it" couple in our troop. Well, the only couple. All the men said that they were going to use us an example for when they get dates. I just laughed. We hadn't really put a label on it, constantly claiming we were just friends. But as the men go on describing what we do, I start to feel a part of something more.

We sat outside our building, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the stars. It was a rare night that both of us were not on patrol and we decided to relax. We had a beer to split and we sat in a comfortable silence. I rested my head on his shoulder, drinking in the smell of his shampoo. It smelt awful really, nothing like head and shoulders but it was familiar. We sat like that until Henry piped up.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you Barbie, and I need you not to judge. Okay?" He started. He looked at me, waiting for a confirmation.

"Okay. Your scaring me a bit." I stated. It was true. I would never judge him. The fact that he has to ask that first ment something was up and i didn't know what to think. I lifted my head off his shoulder so I could look him in the eye.

"Don't be. It's a good thing. Barbie, Teddy, we've known each other for a short time, and really, these have been the happiest moments I think in my whole life. I know Owen has only been gone a short time, but know I'm not asking for this to happen now. I mean, it would be great if it would, but I don't want to push you." He paused for a minute to collect his thoughts.

"I guess what I'm asking is if you want to be my girlfriend?" He finally asked. I sat there staring at him. This was the man who had given up his bed to see me happy, who was there when Owen wasn't. He was the one who stood by me when I lost my child. This whole time I had thought Owen was the constant in my life but now I realize, it was Henry. I nodded slowly and started to laugh.

"Okay what's so funny? We said no judging." He said laughing nervously.

"Just wondering what took you so long to ask." I said, cupping his face in my hands and pulling him in for a kiss.

And just like that, I had found love in the desert. Again. But this time, it was more than sex. Oh, it was so much more. Don't get me wrong, sex with Owen was great. Mind blowing even. But that only ever seemed to be as far as out intimacy went. With Henry, it was different. We traded secrets, confessions, our deepest fears, and our plans for the future. Surprisingly, we had the same ideal future. A big house, a dog, the green garden and the kids running around. We laughed over it so many times, either over dinner or as pillow talk. The funny thing is, now I see Henry in that future.

Henry and I have been dating for months now. We do everything together. We sleep together, eat together, and we even shower together. (To save water of course). In all our talk of the future, we had never thought about starting it. We were so caught up in the war that we never realized it had started.

I was hunched over in the corner of our building, puking for the third morning that week. It was humiliating. But even so, Henry was there, rubbing my back, holding my hair.

"I'm sorry." I said in between heaves. God, I felt like crying.

"It's fine. I'm not complaining." He said. I nodded and leaned over one last time, the last of the bile emptied on the floor. I couldn't stop myself. I cried.

"Hey? Why are you crying?" Henry asked confused.

"Because it's so gross." I sniffed. Henry laughed a little bit. "What's so funny?" I snapped.

"Nothing. Nothing." He said with a smile.

"Good." I said standing up. I ripped off my old shirt and pulled a fresh one out. I threw it on and went to help Henry clean my mess.

"Is anything else bugging you?" Henry asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, have you been feeling odd lately?"

I thought on it. My back was a little sore as well as my breasts. And I guess that outburst earlier was a mood swing. "Not really. Why?"

"Just curious." He responded and looked back at what he was doing. Unlucky for him, i know when something is on his mind.

"You want me to take a test!" I exclaimed. "You think I'm pregnant!"

"Keep it down, and yes I think you should take a test." He replied. I smirked. I wouldn't mind being pregnant, but the thought of what happened last time still haunts me. I love Henry, I really do, but I don't want to recite history. But, last time I was alone. Now I have Henry. So I focused on the positives. I might be having a baby!

"Okay. I'll take a test." I sighed, pretending to be sad about it. In reality I was jumping around on the inside. He cares. He wants this. A smile played on my lips, breaking my mask. Henry looked up at me and smiled as well. I wanted to kiss him so bad, but I knew that I must smell like puke. Instead, I caressed his cheek. I stood up and went to find the supply shed. They would have to have tests, right? After vigorous searching of shelves and boxes, I finally found a test. I tucked it in my bra and went to tell Henry. Well, more like drag him to the washrooms and have him wait anxiously with me.

"Barbie, you know I love you, right? Baby or not." Henry said. We were sitting on the floor beside the row of sinks. My head was on his shoulder, our fingers entwined.

"I know. I love you too." I said. I checked the clock on the wall. Three minutes are up. "Time for thé verdict." I said, reaching for the test. I closed my eyes and prayed for another tiny miracle to be growing in my belly. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. A tiny plus sign appeared on the screen. "I'm pregnant." I whispered.

"What does it say?" Henry asked. He clearly wasn't paying attention.

"It's positive." I repeated. I looked into his eyes. They had tears in them and I imagined mine had some too. "We're having a baby." I clarified. Henry gasped, or maybe laughed, and pulled me into the tightest hug. I let my tears fall down my cheeks, laughing and crying, caressing my flat stomach. Henry broke the hug and kissed me passionately. He pulled away for air and rested his forehead on mine.

"Did you brush your teeth yet?" He asked laughing.

"No. I was to anxious." I smiled.

"You're gross."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He said. He took his hand and placed it on my stomach. "And I love you, little nugget." He whispered against the fabric of my shirt. I sniffed back some tears and ran my hand over his head. This was real. It was happening again. Henry and I were starting our family.

"We should leave. Get out of this hell. Start our family in an actual house or apartment." I said. I didn't want to raise a baby in a war zone.

"We can't just up and leave Teddy. We have to plan this out." Henry said, eyes locked on my mid section.

"And we will. Hey, look at me." I said gently lifting his head so our eyes met. "We are having a baby. A healthy, beautiful baby. Let's focus on that." I smiled. Henry nodded and we stood up, arm and arm, and walked out the door.

"You still need to brush your teeth." Henry joked once we were outside. I laughed and hit his chest playfully.

A few months had passed since we first discovered our baby. I was in the clear for miscarriages but I was still playing it safe. I don't understand why women go through this to be honest. Your back hurts, your boobs hurt, your ankles are swollen, your nauseous and dizzy and don't get me started on the hormones. But then you look at that tiny, little baby bump and it's all worth it.

Henry had taken it upon himself to do the preparations for our leave. I was finally leaving, and I had my boyfriend and baby with me. I couldn't be happier. I was packing up what little things I had here, when I came across Owens sweater. I don't know why I kept the thing. I guess it just felt wrong to throw it away. It was the first act of kindness I had received here. I went to put it back, but found myself packing it instead. I placed a hand on my bump. This was happening. I was returning to reality. Reality. I've been here for years. This IS my reality. This baby and Henry and this deserted hell (whether I like it or not) is part of my reality. I haven't watched TV or had chips or a decent home cooked meal in forever. I had lost contact with the handful of friends I had and there was no one waiting for me back home. I suddenly felt so alone. Until Henry wrapped his arms around my waist. He rocked me softly on the spot, his hands on mine. On my bump. He kissed my cheek. I love it when he did this. Little things to show affection. He always knew what to do.

"You ready to go Barbie?" He whispered in my ear.

"Ya."

"Let's start our family." He said and went to zip up my bag. I watched him walk out the building and I rested my hand on my stomach.

"We're going to be fine. It'll just be us. Me, you and your father. We're going to be okay." I said to the baby. Well mostly to myself. I double checked my cot and went after Henry. He was waiting by the truck that'll take us to the airport. He helped me up and closed the door behind me. He took his place beside me, his hand in mine. I gave him a loving glance and then turned and looked out the window of the truck. I saw the camp disappear and turn into sand dunes and hills. A little part of me was going to miss this place. Just a little.

"You ok?" Henry asked. I nodded. "I know. I'll miss this place too. But just think about how much better it is for the baby." He said taking my hand in both of his. He always knew what to say. What I was thinking. I smiled at him and rested my head on his shoulder, falling asleep to the soft rocking of the truck over the terrain.

It's late. To late to be up. It's Christmas Eve and I'm nursing my new born daughter while my fiancé sleeps. I look out the window on my left and watch the snow fall over the Seattle skyline. The first rays of dawn glow on the horizon. I watch as my daughter nurses, her tiny fists opening and closing.

"Merry Christmas my angel." I whisper, leaning down and kissing her head. Henry stirs a little bit in his sleep and I stifle a small giggle.

I have everything I want. My perfect reality. No war, no desert, no broken heart. The family I lost was reborn. There's no need to run. For once I am at peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow that was long! I hope y'all enjoyed this little one shot!! It's not my best writing with the time jumps. I hope it wasn't to choppy! For the last bit I just did a huge time jump because I got lazy. Sorry if u wanted more.

Also I decided to keep the smut at a minimum. Don't kill me!

-Emily ️


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